I once knew a man who owned a sales company. They sold products made by other companies to businesses who wanted to promote their brand by giving away pens and caps and calendars and many other types of imprinted items known as promotional products.
This owner hired for his sales organization only one kind of person. Everyone on his staff was a highly extroverted and competitive former professional athlete. That approach went against everything I had ever learned about the need for diversity in a team. But they all made quick sales and they celebrated their successes by partying hard.
Although I was unable to observe them for long enough, I have always had the feeling that these guys (yes, they were all men) were leaving a scorched Earth behind them. They wanted quick wins and weren’t willing to nurture customers that needed some time to make a decision. And how did they score at caring for customers after the initial adrenaline rush of the conquest was done?
I must confess that I am an introvert. I have a great degree of respect for how introverts make contacts, work a room, go in for the kill. But I am always amused that when I am discussing personality with a seminar group and ask them to guess whether I am introverted or extraverted, they always guess with confidence that I am most assuredly an extravert.
The reason is obvious. They see me leading a group (them). I am not being shy or quiet or reserved, all characteristics that are associated with introverted behavior. While this is not wrong, these characteristics describe the introvert in a social situation. When introverts have a clear role to play, they can function with confidence, strength and enjoy the spotlight. Many famous actors are introverts. If you have ever seen Robert De Niro interviewed about himself rather than the character he may be playing in his current movie, you see his introverted side. He often looks uncomfortable and gives short answers which make for uninteresting interview shows. But ask him to go “into character” and talk as that character and suddenly a totally different behavior emerges.
The great psychologist Carl Jung is credited with giving us the modern definitions of introversion and extraversion. Myers and Briggs came along and created an instrument to help us understand them better, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. According to Myers and Briggs, people who prefer introversion:
• Are drawn to the inner world of thoughts and ideas
• Think to talk (as opposed to extroverts who talk to think)
• Focus in depth on their interests
• Are often private and contained, sharing their personal thoughts with few people
So what does it mean to me to be an introvert?
• I need quiet time to reflect on important topics
• At a noisy party, I’ll be in a quiet corner talking intensely with one person all evening
• When someone suggests that I sit down with them and draft something together, that seems unproductive to me. Let’s decide what part I will draft ON MY OWN and what part you will draft. Then we can come together to share and coordinate.
• I pride myself on being a good listener. I can reflect intensely while you are talking so long as you stick to the subject.
• But I am not shy. In fact, I love the spotlight. I love being in control.
• I was an only child growing up and do not regret the absence of siblings.
• I even remember as a child often preferring to visit the home of some neighbor couples who were childless where I learned from them about music, amateur radio, etc. My play with other children most frequently took the form of focusing on some activity with one or at most two other friends.
Susan Cain wrote an interesting book called The Power of Introverts. She began by observing that 1/3 to ½ of the people on this planet are introverts, yet our modern world seems to favor extraverted behavior.
I loved it when she postulated that solitude matters. That got me thinking about my belief that nobody should ever be ridiculed when caught staring out a window. This apparent daydreaming may be important reflection time when an introvert assimilates data and draws conclusions. Watch her TED Talk video here (20:00) or get a taste in less than 3 minutes in the following video:
It is interesting to me that several of my extraverted friends and colleagues take week-long silent retreats where they go to a monastery or other place of contemplation for time away from distractions to become centered and to rejuvenate. As an introvert I don’t feel a need to do that because I have small silent retreats many times every week for short periods.
I share Susan’s call to give people the freedom to be themselves, even when it means some of them may not want to always do their work like a team sport. Oh, and some of my best friends are extraverts!
Herb