In the past few years, the Sea World parks in Orlando, San Antonio and San Diego in the US have had more than their share of bad press. It turns out that the biggest attraction, the Orcas (also known as killer whales) need oceans to roam in and not just the pools in which they are kept at the parks. The parks are in the process of phasing out the shows and over time will return all orcas to nature -- although even that process is more complicated than many had believed since some of the giant animals, especially those bred in captivity, are missing some of the instincts they will need to successfully reintegrate in nature.
I can say from firsthand experience that the whales were treated very well (except for not having a whole ocean to swim in). In 1983 I had the opportunity to spend a day with one of the trainers at Sea World in Orlando, Florida talking about the lessons for training adult humans that could be learned from training whales. They are more than you might think.
Employees, like whales, will do things you want them to if they see those things to be in their best interest or because they trust and like you. This doesn’t mean to try to be one of them, but to be considerate, understand their needs and wants and be very consistent in your behavior.
I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw that the very well-known Ken Blanchard (co-developer of the Situational Leadership Model, author of the “One Minute Manager”, etc.) released a book and a video in 2002 called “Whale Done: The Power of Positive Relationships”. In it he talks about visiting the same Sea World and talks with the staff that works with killer whales.
Blanchard learned the same things I did on my visit: You can’t intimidate workers into doing what you want any more than you can intimidate a whale that is big enough to kill you with the flip of his tail to do what you want. And from there begins a fascinating journey about the importance of emphasizing the positive, avoiding a “blame” culture and using reinforcement of positive behaviors to strengthen relationships.
The book is worth reading. The video is great reinforcement with lots of shots of the amazing things these whales do in front of audiences. But don’t get the idea that Blanchard believe in a “softy” approach. Just a velvet glove which gives the message that doesn’t get stuck in what went wrong but in what can be changed to make it right.
When people ask me how to give criticism without destroying the relationship, I like to remind them of the hamburger model for feedback. On top we have something positive and soft, then we have the beef (complaint), but we make sure to finish with something positive that holds it all together. For example: “Herb, that was a nice seminar you did yesterday (top bun). But it was a shame that time got away from you and you had to keep the people so late into the evening (meat). But I am sure that the next time you’ll keep your agenda under control. Perhaps you should set some milestones about where you want to be at certain points in the day (bottom bun).”
You will enjoy building those positive relationships. They create an open atmosphere in the office and work seems to get done with less effort.