In geography, a confluence is the meeting of two or more bodies of water. It is a place of much turbulence. Steering in a particular direction can be very difficult.
Many of the people I see in my executive coaching practice as well as some who participate in my teambuilding events and training programs seem to be caught in a very turbulent place.
I represent the confluence in which they are caught as a triangle with one point standing for the national culture of the individual. Culture not only gives us guidelines about how to act (use first names or last names, shake hands or bow) but it also defines patterns of behavior (be direct in expressing things you dislike or use ambiguity so the other saves face).
A second tributary to the confluence is organizational culture, represented by stated values, official policies but also by what gets rewarded and promoted in the organization where they work. Some organizations with which I work are very hierarchical while others promote a behavior of avoiding conflict – although that seldom works. (To read more, see Edgar Schein's model of organizational culture.)
The third point of the confluence triangle is the individual. Our personality, individually held principles, goals and social skills intermingle to form the behavioral style of the individual. (See this blog's post on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator.)
Sometimes these three tributaries align nicely and there is smooth sailing, but often they do not. And when conflict occurs, it is because one person’s triangle does not fit well with that of another person. Then there are waves, whirlpools, eddies and dangerous undertows.
It would be tempting to say that we should use the instruments and techniques available to select staff members who align well together. But the danger is that we will attempt to preclude diversity in our teams. And organizational development specialists like Dr. Nancy Adler at the McGill University in Montreal make a convincing case for the need for lots of diversity in our teams if we want them to be world-class. They cover for each other’s blind spots, enhance creativity and add more perspectives to the conversation. Teams of similar people may get along well, but they do not produce the best possible results.
So if hiring clones isn’t the answer, what is? It lies in a two-pronged approach: provide training and coaching so people will understand themselves better and understand how others are different from them. And help them learn tools for handling the conflict which must inevitably occur.
Dr. Dudley Weeks in his book “The Eight Steps to Conflict Resolution” says that conflict should be seen as a normal event, one that strengthens the relationship just like day-to-day family quarrels do in our private lives.
-Herb