xenophobe

Xenophobe's Guide to the Germans

by Stefan Zeidenitz and Ben Barko

Teutonic torment

In every German there is a touch of the wild-haired Beethoven striding through forests and weeping over a mountain sunset, grappling against impossible odds to express the inexpressible. This is the Great German Soul, prominent display of which is essential whenever Art, Feeling, and Truth are under discussion.

Angst breeds angst

For a German, doubt and anxiety expand and ramify the more you ponder them. They are astonished that things haven't gone to pot already, and are pretty certain that they soon will.

Longer must be better

Most Germans apply the rule that more equals better. If a passing quip makes you smile, then surely by making it longer the pleasure will be drawn out and increased. As a rule, if you are cornered by someone keen to give you a laugh, you must expect to miss lunch and most of that afternoon's appointments.

Angst breeds angst

Because life is ernsthaft, the Germans go by the rules. Schiller wrote, “obedience is the first duty,” and no German has ever doubted it. This fits with their sense of order and duty. Germans hate breaking rules, which can make life difficult because, as a rule, everything not expressly permitted is prohibited.


Xenophobe's Guide to the Americans

by Stephanie Faul

This tiny book is packed with funny AND insightful comments about Americans from the perspective of the English.

The Xenophobe's motto is "Forewarned is forearmed," and this guide series gives travelers to foreign lands as much ammunition as possible. In The Xenophobe's Guide to the Americans, Stephanie Faul (herself an American) takes readers on a perceptive, ironic, frequently hilarious tour of the American psyche, from its basic traits to its attitudes about sex, drugs, and gun control. Discussing the American character, for example, Faul states "Americans believe themselves to be the only nation that is truly capable of winning.... Having God on your side in a fight is good. Having the United States on your side is better. To an American, they're the same thing." On obsessions she writes: "There are a few, a very few things that Americans condemn as being beyond the pale. They include: Growing Old ... Being Fat ... Dying."

Perhaps Americans themselves are in the best position to appreciate Faul's barbed commentary, but foreign visitors will surely find plenty to inform as well as amuse in this slim volume. American readers, take heart: there are 18 other Xenophobe titles taking equally irreverent potshots at everyone else, from the Australians to the Icelanders. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.